something new.

While this blog did well for what it was, it was rather one-sided and happily showed of the intense, pseudo intellectual side of Stephen Baker.

So, in an attempt to be more honest and more rounded with what I put on display:

The Beat-Speak Organ

Read it, link it, comment, or not.
This blog will stay up, but will be innactive.
If you wish, replace links to this blog to my new one.

It's time for better things.

not only by reason, but by heart.

My thoughts have of late been focused on somewhat of a truth-seeking inquisition. I've found that while i know for a fact that my God is real, my erratic doubt leaves my faith --and by that i mean my belief that He will, not that He can-- a reality that is only sporadically within my reach.

The difficulty in following Christ isn't believing that he did what he did. That said, I'm very aware that it's certainly not the easiest thing in the world to grasp... much less believe. Had I not experienced God like I have, I'm sure that I wouldn't have believed it myself. I feel the difficulty is knowing Him and trusting Him.
(I hate the Christian answer as much as you do.)
Once it's unearthed, however, it is a flagrantly terrifying thing. We refrain from handing over our entirety because we're placing everything we are into something that we don't entirely understand, or more truthfully, something we aren't 100% sure is factual.

If our absolutes are founded in our truths and if we are so certain of our God and our faith, why do we as Christians not ask the hard questions and relentlessly challenge our beliefs?
If God is who we believe He is, then why is it that we avoid challenging Him like the plague?
Truth has this arcane way of exposing itself.
Are we afraid that when we seek out truth, Christianity will not make the cut? That God will be proven to be nothing more than a myth and the sophistry of the age?

I have my doubts about God. There are some days that my doubt outweighs my faith by a few anvils. More important than those doubts, however, is what I've found in response to them.

If we find that God is a fallacy, then good for us. We've found truth. However if we find (as I have) that truth seems to rest on the bedrock of a Creator, do not stop until God is as real as the eyes you're reading with. Relying on tradition or the faith of your family will leave you either a nervous wreck or worse,

indifferent.

[On that, allowing only your own perception to be the judge of truth and fiction is a rail towards failure. Einstein said "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."]

Test everything. Hold on to the good.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:21

...and paper takes the gold over technology.

so it's been a bit since i've written anything on here.
in all honesty my Moleskine has been robbing this blog of my creativity... and i suppose everything else i write about.
but for the few that do read and periodically check-- i do indeed care about you, so i will leave you with something i'm learning.

(and by that i mean something i've begun learning as of four minutes ago.)

How dare i assume that in this second (minute, hour, day, week, etc...) I'm to be waiting on something else in life to happen? I know that God is far too precise, too much of an ace to let myself think that there's never something to learn. or do. even if it is resting.

the second i (we?) become bored, perhaps we've stopped living as we should.